JACK SKELLINGTON: The Owners Manual and Guide
by iBroken
Summary: Bought a JACK SKELLINGTON? Don't know how to use it? Just read this manual, silly!


--

**JACK SKELLINGTON: The Owners Guide and Maintenance Manual**

Sincerest congratulations! You are the proud owner of a fully-operational JACK SKELLINGTON unit. To ensure that you get the full usage of your singing, dancing skeleton we suggest you pay very close attention to this manual.

--

**Basic Information**

Name: JACK SKELLINGTON (a.k.a. Skeleton JACK, Pumpkin King)

Manufacturing Date: DISCLOSED

Place of Manufacturing: Halloween Town

Height: Really, _really_ tall.

Weight: Very, very light.

--

**Your JACK SKELLINGTON unit will come with the following accessories:**

(1) black and white striped suit with bat bowtie and black shoes

(1) pumpkin head with scarecrow outfit

(1) SANDY CLAWS™ outfit

Please take note that the SANDY CLAWS™ hat is not included, as your unit does not realize that he is missing the hat. To obtain one, you must have SHOCK, LOCK, and BARREL trio kidnap a SANDY CLAWS unit. JACK should take the hat from him.

For limited time the BOOGIE'S BOYS set is half off! Buy the trio and watch the fun unfold.

--

**Programming:**

The JACK SKELLINGTON, believe it or not, is an amazing unit. His versatility is able to provide you with absolutely amazing functions, keeping in mind that even JACK SKELLINGTON does have his own ambitions and may go off to fulfill them. Other than that, he'll always be with you.

**HALLOWEEN PARTY DATE: **Got a Halloween Party to attend? Need a date but can't find one? Need a matching man to go with your ragdoll costume? JACK SKELLINGTON is perfect for this! His already creepy looks and charming personality will make everyone love him. Just be careful with JACK FANGIRLS, as they will kidnap him.

**CIRCUS FREAK: **Because of his insane jumping skills and his awesome creepy skeleton looks, JACK makes the perfect circus man. So hire him out to a local circus or a rich person in need of entertainment and watch the money rrrooolll in.

**THESPIAN: **Got a play to go to but without a partner? Want to see really good singing and really good acting all in one? JACK SKELLINGTON has it all! His to-die-for voice and insanely good acting makes him the perfect actor. You'd have to be deaf to NOT want him to try. 

**SALLY-BAIT: **Need a SALLY unit? Well, because of her love for the JACK unit, SALLY will, ahem, "follow", JACK. Just peek behind a gravestone or down your JACK's window, and you might just find one then! NOTE: If the SALLY unit is owned by someone else, you might want to buy it off of them first.

Got anything else that you need? JACK can do it all! With his ability to fight, sing, dance, plan parties, construct things, etc, Jack can easily take part in any activity you give him! Just put him to work and watch him make magic with those bony fingers of his.

**--**

**Your JACK SKELLINGTON has (4) different settings:**

Happy/Scary

Angst-y (locked)

Horrifyingly Scary (locked)

Romantic (locked)

The Romantic is reserved for SALLY units only. Horrifyingly Scary is only activated upon meeting a SHOCK, LOCK, or BARREL unit, as he will scare them to keep them in place. Angst-y is unlocked when JACK feels that HALLOWEEN is boring, and will feel like following his own ambitions. Unless you desire world danger, it is recommended you don't let him.

--

**Other Unit Interactions:**

**SALLY: **This is your units most compatible unit. When your JACK unit wants to cause trouble by celebrating CHRISTMAS, your SALLY unit will stop him in time. They will fall in love in a matter of minutes, although it can't be said why. And ultimately, they make a solemn couple. Just watch the kisses under moonlight when these two unite.

**ZERO: **Your JACK SKELLINGTON also is fairly compatible with this unit. The ZERO will follow JACK around, play fetch with him, and occasionally light the front of his Christmas Coffin when he goes flying in he night to hand out presents to all the children.

**MAYOR: **Although not much is said between these two, they are very compatible. They will work on plans for Halloween together. There isn't much more to them, though.

**OOGIE BOOGIE: **When these two meet, expect fighting, and bugs. It is highly recommended that they don't meet. On the off chance that they do and a SALLY and SANDY CLAWS unit are around, expect to lose the OOGIE BOOGIE unit permanently, as JACK units tend to lose their cool around them.

**DR. FINKLESTEIN: **These two units don't interact too much. Your JACK will go to him for scientific purposes, borrowing materials, etc. On the offset that this unit catches SALLY making out with JACK, make sure JACK and SALLY run for their lives. The DR. FINKLESTEIN is very protective of his creations.

**SANDY CLAWS: **JACK and SANDY CLAWS aren't the best to interact with. JACK will steal Christmas from SANDY CLAWS nad ruin it, so it is highly recommended that you don't let them meet, period.

--

**Cleaning:**

Your JACK SKELLINGTON is highly capable of cleaning himself. If you, however, should choose to clean him yourself, remember, no tumble dry, hang on the line. Only towel dry.

--

**Energy:**

Your JACK SKELLINGTON has a strong diet consisting of fish skeletons, chicken skeletons, and just about anything skeleton-consisting. He also takes dishwasher liquid, liquid soap, and shampoo for drinks.

--

**Frequently Asked Questions:**

Q: My JACK SKELLINGTON is constantly seen with a OOGIE BOOGIE. And well, one day, I saw him KISSING OOGIE. What the hell? How do I stop this?

A: Ahh. Well, the solution to this is, there is none. You can try putting a SALLY near JACK, but from what you said, they must be in love. Just deal with it. Maybe set JACK free, and he might come back after he breaks up with him.

Q: Okay, this may sound a bit weird, but JACK just said he wants to highjack Passover. He's dressed like Moses and is threatening to unleash the '10 Plagues' over our house.

A: This is another very, versatile thing about JACK. He must like the sound of Passover. Are you dressed like Egyptians by any chance? Just go and dress like a Jewish person and tell JACK that you're one of his people. At the end of Passover (or whenever Passover ends) JACK should come back to reality. Until then, beware the 10 Plagues.

Q: My JACK SKELLINGTON unit is shorter, and he has a creepy smile, and two big yellow eyes. What's up?

A: That is a BARREL unit. Although this appears a bit like JACK, removing his mask shows he isn't. So the best advice you can have is ship the unit back to us and we'll send JACK over to you. If you however intend to keep it (which we highly doubt; the JACK unit is more popular), keep it, by all means.

Q: HE WON'T STOP SINGING. FOR EVERY WORD WE TELL HIM HE SAYS A FRIGGEN SONG! WHAT THE HELL DO WE DO WITH HIM?!

A: This is called 'Jack-Sings-Too-Much-Syndrom'. You just need to chill out and go with the song. He won't stop singing, _trust_ us.

--

**Troubleshooting:**

Problem: He thinks he ruined Christmas and won't come out of his room; spending all day singing about 'all is dust' etc.

Solution: Simply put, just tell him to go set things right. He needs a bit of motivation. You can either tell him to go get SANDY CLAWS to fix things, or mention things about Pumpkin King, Halloween, and SALLY.

Problem: My JACK only weighs 78lbs. Is this normal?

Solution: Yes, it is entirely normal. He doesn't gain weight, unlike most units. So don't be concerned and keep giving him his usual diet. Wouldn't want him to turn skinnier, huh?

--

This is the complete manual for JACK SKELLINGTON. With proper care and avoiding any of the issues mentioned, he'll live a long, and healthy life. Ignoring his singing, and letting him take over the occasional holiday, your JACK unit will be happy forever.


End file.
